It's Easy to Rip Off Deaf People Cuz They Can't Hear You Stealing Their Lines

Jerry Maguire.

Ah...now the title of this little post makes sense, doesn't it?

Now then...Jerry Maguire. I don't get it. Maybe I'm not of that age, that late twenties/early thirties mindset that would get this movie, that would speak to me and my generation about the ennui and passion that is in engaged in brutal spiritual warfare within our souls. Or maybe i'm not of the right mindset or social grouping or whatever. But I don't really like this movie. Don't get me wrong, it has its moments: Jay Mohr's in it as a prick, Drew Bledsoe has a quick cameo, Tom Cruise tries to find a radio song to wail to, and they gave some work to a semi-retarded little boy with a ginormous head and no future prospects of earning a wage outside of royalties from his work as a childhood actor. All good things.

But the seminal scene, the one everyone parodies and references, is that moment where Jerry (Cruise) comes home and tries to reclaim his passion and his marriage with Dorothy (Renee Zellweger). In front of a large group of womynyst manhaters that all mourn and bitch together, Jerry makes a poetic speech that melts even their Ice Queen hearts, wins back Dorothy, and saves the day, ensuring a slew of specifically fitted oversized hats for Mongo, The Child No One Wanted (Jonathan Lipnicki). Show me the money, young prince; show me the money indeed. Here's the speech:

"We live in a cynical world. A cynical world. And we work in a business of tough competitors. I love you. You... complete me."

Nice words. Sweet. But what I always hated is that these are lines are completely stolen from a deaf man early on in the film. I know I'm not pointing out anything that wasn't obvious, or intentional, or even anything remotely interesting. But I just hated that Dorothy fell for it when she was RIGHT THERE IN THE ELEVATOR when it happened. In fact she's responsible for giving those poetic lines to Jerry in the first place:

[Jerry and Dorothy are in the elevator and a hearing impaired couple gets on. The man of the couple starts talking with his hands, then they get off]
Jerry Maguire: I wonder what he just said.
Dorothy Boyd: My favorite aunt is hearing impaired. He just said "You complete me".

Now I'm not even gonna start on the whole "favorite aunt" thing; that's a whole separate column fueled with a completely different rage. It's just annoying that when Jerry needs to be at his most forthright and earnest and honest and passionate, and when the movie really needs to show the power of love (cue Huey Lewis) then why have him just rip off the deaf dude from before. and why have this girl fall for it? Shouldn't Jerry have to work harder to keep his love? Shouldn't Writer/Director Cameron Crowe have to work harder for an authentic moment for Jerry Maguire?

I know this isn't the most topical or timely of posts, but it's just one of those things that's plain wrong but everyone accepts it. Hell, it's even in that damn Bruce Springsteen song from the movie.

Actually, that's another plus from Jerry Maguire: it brings back the eighties trend of the song from the movie that gives the entire synopsis of the film. Those are the best. My particular favorite? "Turtle Power" by MC Hammer from Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles.

"When you stand for what you believe in, and find the strength to do what's right -- that's Turtle Power."--MC Hammer

Well, this movie got me to quote Hammer's words of wisdom. How bad can it be, really? I'll let it slide this time.