12 Days of Christmas, Part the First (or is it Twelfth?)
With only 12 more days until we celebrate the half-assed birth of Our Lord and Savior in what can only be referred to as deplorable and down right negligent conditions in a filthy barn, I figured I'd give us 12 days of holiday themed fun and excitement.
Now, is today technically the 12th day of Christmas or the 1st day of Christmas? Wouldn't Christmas be the first day of Christmas? And why do I find "8 maids a milking" so damn sexually provocative?
(THIS JUST IN: Apparently the 12 days of Christmas begin AFTER December 25. Check here for more information. What I don't get is if there's a chance of extending Christmas and Jesustime, even if only by 12 days, then why aren't the Fox News Christmas Defense League all over it? They are fighting the war on the War on Christmas, but apparently don't intend to celebrate the 12 nights after Christmas. For shame, O'Reilly. And Hannity, I expect this type of blatant disregard for Jesus from Colmes...not from you, Sean. Not from you.)
Anywhoski, so the first treat today is the trailer for the 1985 instant classic, Santa Claus: The Movie. Check it out!
Has anyone seen this?
Not to ruin this truly inspiring piece of art, but one of the plot points is that a Rogue Elf (Dudley Moore, of course) uses the magic powder that helps the reindeer fly to make candy that an Evil Industrialist (John Lithgow) dangerously sells without considering the ramifications (apparently people will just float away). Anyways, to escape the authorities, Lithgow stuffs his face with the candies, and the last time we see him he is floating in space. That one shot freaked the hell out of me as a child. "Oh hey, Santa Claus: The Movie. What presents are you bringing me this year? Weeks of nightmares of a paranoid businessman trapped floating endlessly in the cold vacuum of space? Thanks, Santa!"
Here's the best line from Roger Ebert's review of the film (he gave 2.5 stars):
"The movie needs a super-Scrooge, and all it gets is the kind of bad guy Ralph Nader might have invented. The biggest crisis is when a couple of reindeer come down with runny noses."
Super Scrooge, eh? The Santa Clause 4: Revenge of the Super Scrooge! Someone call Tim Allen!
posted by The Neurotic Monkey @ 10:31 AM
1 Comments:
This movie is so intriguing to me. I was excited with the basic concept; then they threw in Dudley Moore; THEN they threw in John Lithgow; I read your post, learn that pixie dust, essentially, is the core issue at hand here, and realize that this movie just might work.
Then Chris tells me the movie is awful, and I'm dissapointed something so possible could go so wrong.
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