You Make the Call!
I often think about myself in a sitcom. The title would probably either be "Dean!" or "That's Our Monkey!". I would be a gruff, but deep down inside sweet, bartender who helps all of his quirky friends with all of their wacky problems. Now here's my question:
Which of these catch phrases should I have (it would be said at the end of every episode, and I would say it while shrugging, looking into the camera, and then freeze frame):
A) "Well...You're a douchebag!"
2) "Deal with it, America!"
iii) "Who am I to Judge?"
Quatro) "Well, I am a Sexual Predator!"
V) "Take That, Jesus!"
6) "Here we go again!...cunt"
G) "These Aren't My Pants!"
You decide! Vote Now! And don't be afraid to come up with your own. C'mon, people: let's prove that democracy works! ...for once.
posted by The Neurotic Monkey @ 11:37 AM
8 Comments:
I vote for number G. That way you could add the loveable-yet-easily-distracted aspect to your on-screen character. It's all about dimension, Manic M.
Or maybe I mean dimentia. Damn! I always get those two mixed up.
Camps, you know yer the goofy but lovable neighbor. The Fonzie, but not as gay. The Urkle, but not as damn sexy.
And Sex, I always get stuffed confused. Like Philatelist and Fellatio. Not the words, just the actions.
"You want a blow-job?"
"No, I don't collect stamps. But thanks for your interest."
Needless to say...I'm a moron.
May I please be the sassy help on your show?
I encourage the revival of the sassy help.
And as for you, Sex, I would gladly have you on my show, especially where the sweet and sweaty art of screwing is involved. However, the story arc that you outlined was actually used in a series of episodes of "Saved by the Bell" in which Mr. Belding gives Zack a little of the ole "how's your father".
And while I'm all about fucking you, Sex, due to some pending lawsuits, my license to woo has been suspended in 49 states. If you guess which state was excluded, I'll meet you there for a romantic rendezvous.
I think I'm ready to be used.
Wow i just noticed that you listen to Will Oldham (in all his incarnations). You my friend, have taste.
Gracias, Greg.
I love "Superwolf". that first song, "My Home Is the Sea", is so great. Combined with "Seafarers Music", it makes me want to be a sailor. Or at least a savvy pirate.
Why, oh why do you try to push me away when you know you want it so bad? Greg, will you help me out here and tell him it's futile?
Anyway, I'm going with Wyoming. They don't even have a freakin' speed limit up there.
Unfortunately, Sex, the answer was not Wyoming.
It was Utah. Utah.
The mormons like my freaky deaky sensibility.
But we have some lovely parting gifts for you, like me shaggin you, and a life time supply of chocolate pudding.
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