Fuck This Noise
Some questions (a brief shout out to J to tha Kurz fer some assistance). You have half an hour. Keep your eyes on your own work. Remember you'll have time to go back at the end. Make sure to show your work and explain all your own answers. Annnnnnnnnnnd, begin!
1. Which would you want: The Power of Flight or Invisibility?
2. Name three ways to skin a cat.
3. Would you rather be a Pirate or a Ninja? Why or Why Not?
4. You beat the devil in an arm wrestling contest. The world throws you a party complete with punch and confetti. What song is playing in the background?
5. Which would you rather control: A Robot Servant or an Army of Monkeys?
6. Your life story is FINALLY coming to the big screen. But it will can only be told in one of two mediums: Puppets or Flash Animation. Which do you choose?
7. Where/Who would your ghost haunt?
8. What song was playing the first time you DID IT? Which song do you wish had been playing? Which song best defines the moment?
9. You can control any element of nature (Earth, Water, Wind, Fire -- and no, not Heart. Heart's not a real element. It was made up for dirty South Americans.). Which do you choose?
10. Santa's Elves ask you to help them rebel against their Corpulent Overlord. Do you accept and lead them to freedom, thereby canceling christmas OR do you decline and force them to make you a PSP?
11. You meet President Bush, Carson Daly (or Jimmy Fallon, if you prefer), and George Lucas all at once. You only have time to punch one of them in the face. Who do you choose? Who do you choose?
12. What song best sums up your childhood?
13. You can either be the captain of an old timey submarine or a Zeppelin. Choose!
14. Rock, Paper, or Scissors.
15. What's the worst thing you can imagine running into on Acid? As in your grandma, a big dog, a small pack of kids, etc.
16. Jesus has a talk with you. He wants you to pass on a one sentence message to the rest of the world. What's the sentence?
17. You have to choose a tag team partner for life out of this bunch: Hulk Hogan, Steve Guttenberg, Ultimate Warrior, Paul Wolfowitz, Jennifer Beals, Iron Sheik, Andy Kaufman, Carl Weathers, Phylicia Rashad, Craig T. Nelson, Kerri Strug, Tom Selleck, Lynda Carter, David Byrne, Ernie Hudson, or Ubu the Dog.
Well, that's all. Pencils down. Hope you enjoyed it. Here's your reward:
http://rainbow.arch.scriptmania.com/rainbow_tv_episode.html
Ta-Ta.
PS My answers will be here tomorrow.
posted by The Neurotic Monkey @ 10:38 PM
6 Comments:
1) Power of flight. No more rush hour traffic. Suckas!
2) With a cheese grater; by telekinesis; your mom.
3) A pirate so I can look as hot as Gwen Stefani in her video "Rich Girl"
4) "We are the Champions" by Queen
5) Monkeys! MONKEYS! Well, as long as it's nothing like Outbreak...
6) Puppets a la The Sound of Music. Marionettes are sexy.
7) An ant colony.
8) A song by Bone Crusher, but I can't remember. I wish Cancer for the Cure was playing, simply because that's a hot song. The song that would best define my first time... Hmm... All that comes to mind is "I Fucking Hate You" by Godsmack...
9) Fire... I have pyromaniac tendencies.
10) Make me a PSP, bitches.
11) George Lucas... and hopefully he'll fall over with such a force that will create an earthquake, and Bush and Daly will fall in the earth's cracks and die.
12) Jammin by Bob Marley
13) Zeppelin
14) Bomb!!!
15) Big Bird and Snuffelupagus
16) Pink floating elephants do exist.
17) Hmm... Ubu the Dog. Yeah. The smartest of the bunch.
1. I choose mindreading. Yes, that is not an option but I dont live by your rules. Invisibility is creepy - and I am afraid of heights. I suppose if i could fly I wouldn't be afraid but that would require logical thinking.
3. Are you kidding? Obviosly pirate, for the bling baby! and the ocean . . .
5. Robot. I don't like monkeys and I don't like armies.
6. Puppets. Team America seems suprisingly realistic, especially the sex scene.
9. I choose you, pokewatermon!
10. Organize an elf union and create a better work environment for them, with stock options!
11. Bush - no doubt about it. and whats wrong with jimmy fallon? he's cute!
13. zeppelin, although this does go against my whole fear of heights thing, but my fear of confined spaces underwater prevails.
14. paper
15. Harry Potter
16. "All is full of love." Who knew JC was a Bjork fan?
17. Lynda! We would take over the world
Ciao Kitty!
1.) Tough one... I enjoy the flying I do in dreams, plus it would come in handy in awkward conversations, but then again so would invisibility. Invisibility would allow me to pants people at will while also shoplift items of my choice. I'll go with... flight. Because it would be awesome to see the world from that point of view, and much of the time I can make myself invisible without the assistance of anybody.
2.) a.} If you scare it then it jumps out of it's skin. b.} Take it with you to the south of France where everybody sunbathes nude, then when it takes off it's coat, steal it. c.} Ask to borrow the coat "just for tonight because it goes SO well with these shoes I have..." Then never give it back. Sucker!
3.) We discussed this one earlier and I'm going to go with Ninja I think. I would be so stealthy I tell you. I would be amazing. Though if we're looking at it like climbing the corporate ladder, becoming head pirate has many more perks than being head Ninja, like the boat and the scallywags and the parrot. But Ninja I get awesome moves and whatever I do I do it very cleverly and stealthily. A Pirate is not stealthy.
4.) Oooh... I want to say "Love Is A Battlefield," but I'm going to go with my current favorite, "Dragonstea Din Tei" by those rascally chest hair-free Romanians. Those crazy kids...
5.) As I said earlier, I'm going with the Army of Monkeys. How GREAT would that be? Just a shit load of monkeys hanging out, waiting for you to say something. Flinging feces at the neighbors, small children, my boss' car. Perhaps picking up some dry cleaning. I think we'd mesh really well.
6.) I'm going with puppets. Sock puppets with ridiculous cockney accents if possible. I'd like to see them recreate some drunk moments of mine.
7.) I would either like to haunt Chris and have fun hiding things from him, much as I do now, or haunt Ethan. Only I wouldn't really haunt, so much as fuck with people while Ethan was right there so he would have to crack up.
8.) First time - the TV was on. Some song came on in the car as we were leaving but I don't remember what. Seeing as it was not the most fun experience the first time, I would go with hearing music I really liked, like the Beatles or Zeppelin. Best defines my moment would be ... maybe "Jesse's Girl?" Or Grateful Dead's "Friend of the Devil."
9.) I think I want to control water. You could make it stop raining or freeze up the roads so there would be no work. Or just create a kickass frozen playground in your backyard.
10.) I think I'd encourage them to separate from Santa and create some alterior holiday. Something that combines the challah of Chanukah with the stockings of Christmas and the general fervor of Kwanza. And a pole if you're into Festivus.
11.) Bush. I wouldn't hesitate a second. Carson at least has a sense of humor about himself, and Jimmy is bound to implode at some point based on the laws of physics and that head on that body, and Lucas is like a fuzzy old man that loves his family, plus I've never seen Star Wars. Bush just sucks balloon knots.
12.) You know what song I loved when I was a kid? Baby Beluga. "Baby Beluga in the deep blue sea, you swim so wild and you swim so free." I did neither of those, but did feel a bond with that charming mammal. Or an Abba Song... "Waterloo" maybe? I don't know if it sums it up but it reminds me of my childhood.
13.) Zeppelin. Hell ya! That would be so fun. Plus the whole thing about being underwater in that ship would freak me out. I'll sit in a flying bomb any day.
14.) Scissors. I enjoy their cunning.
15.) Never did acid but I'm going to go with family. Do NOT want to see family when I am doing anything I consider truly fun because it is probably either illegal or I am acting retarded and I don't need them to see it and then pester me with "Why are you doing that? Are you okay? Do you want something?" Endless questions stress me...
16.) Live and let live.
17.) Ubu, hands down. I trust that pup.
And I'm happy to see the British may-be-for-real link made it on here. Maybe someone will know where it came from. But no link to my latest favorite song? Ah, c'est la vie. Miss ya!
1. Invisibility! Dude, how fun would it be to be invisible during sex. And I would have gotten to go into the CU Football team's lockerroom the other day!
2. Name three ways to skin a cat.
In a car, in a boat, or, duh, in a bed.
3. Pirate. The get laid more.
4. Something by the Kinks.
5. Does the Robot Servant come with "equipment?"
6. Puppets and they'd look like Groovy Girls. Go ahead, google 'em, you know you want to.
7. My first house that my husband and I owned, but I think that position is taken. So I guess the Pub.
8. It was over two decades ago, hell, I can't remember.
9. Fire.
10. What's a PSP?
11. Bush, hands down. Then I'd have time to write uninterupted whilst in prison.
12. Seasons in the Sun was my favorite song as a child, and oddly enough, it ended up applying pretty well.
13. Zeppelin. Under the water... ugh.
14. Fire, remember?
15. Bloggers.
16. Peace, love and rock and roll.
17. Tom Selleck. I don't need smart, just hot.
1. flight fo sho! It's sorta hard to show of invisibility
2. the new schick quattro, the Mach 3 & the Mach 3 Turbo
3. Since I am well versed in the ways of the Ninja I would clearly be a deadly assassin, however I love the pirate look, there are so many accessories involved and I like that!
4. Filthy Gorgeous by the Sissor Sisters
5. Robot servant. The monkeys seem unruly and a servant that does sass back, who wouldn't want that.
6. Flash! God I hate puppets. Is this a homestarrunner reference, oh, that exp-wans everytang!
7. Brad Pitt's tomb and hope he too is dead and I could get some ghost on ghost action, or the set of Desperate Housewives.
8. Whitney Houston's "The Greatest Love", JOhnny McGovern's "Soccer Practice", Outkast's "Spread"
9. Water, cause then I could be really good at surfing and impress all the ladies!!
10. Is having sex with them an option?
11. Bush! And then I force him to go down on me and am like "see you like it, yeah, you like it..."
12. Len's "Steal my Sunshine"
13. What's a Zeppelin? a blimp? Can I be the captain of a Zambonee?
14. Rock (hard cock)
15. How bout a Quad full of your peers! Scary!!
16. Brad and Angelina are having an affair!
17. Can I choose the McGriddle? That thing packs a punch!
18.
1. preferably both, but if i had to chose, invisibility. If i had the power of flight, eventually someone would see me and i would be exploited...or i'd fly into a bird.
2. i'd rather not say...the lab might fire me
3. pirate. who wouldn't want to be a pirate? there's no competition here. treasure, eye patches, the possibility of owning a small monkey or being deserted on an island...and besides, ninjas are sooo 1985.
4. She's a manic, maaaaniac...
5. robot servant. eventually monkeys die...and i'd have to feed them. i couldn't handle the responsibility. that and you'd never know if they were going to turn on you if you said the wrong thing or smiled too big.
6. puppets...preferably the muppets as long as my part is played by Animal.
7. Winsor Castle. Years and years of freaking out the royal family would keep me entertained.
8. um...don't remember. bittersweet symphony would be good though...maybe...or maybe it would just be depressing...i'll let you know when i've tried it....which may be a while
9. Fire...the others are sissy elements.
10. Hell no. dirty little buggars. they need to start working on my car.
11. Probably Bush, if he was alone and i was wearing a ski mask so he couldn't identify me to the secret service. I have a feeling Carson Daley gets punched in the face a lot and Lucas hasn't pissed me off recently.
12. a song from Sharon, Lois and Bran's Elephant Show entitled "I'm not small" If you haven't heard it, you're missing out.
13. Zeppelin...i have a fear of being trapped in a leaking submarine since visiting Disney World when I was 5.
14. Rock! even if i lose, i'm ready to fight.
15. somebody truely freakish looking.....or an ex boyfriend
16. "I'm watching you"
17. Tom Selleck...i can't deny that i may still have a thing for him....must be the mustache
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