Give This Man Some Money!

And people say originality is dead. I say to those detractors -- Pshaw!

Of special note is that he doesn't appear to be too angry for his family's slaughter at the hands of the capable and cunning ninjas. Nor does he appear like a brooding fella who's dwelling on vengeance. Need proof? Well, few revenge fixated people look so jolly with a smile on their face. Also, I don't know that many people in mourning who decorate signs with Smiley faces.

And if there's one thing we all know: Emoticons don't lie.

Seriously, people will always reward beggars and panhandlers for showing some originality. So bravo, Victim of Ninja Violence -- bravo. I celebrate you, and mourn your loss beside you.

I happen to know this guy, and he DID get the money for kung fu lessons, and he DID end up avenging his family. They later adapted his story for the screen and turned it into a movie. Of course, it being Hollywood, they had to change everything around and screw it all up. Nonetheless, you are looking at the man who's the basis for White Chicks. Give it up, people. Give it up.


Special shout out of gratitude goes to the newly resurrected Matty H; the details of your demise were greatly exagerrated.