Potent Potables

Some odds n ends:

• Kiss Kiss, Bang Bang = Happy Happy, Joy Joy This movie was great. It's hilarious, it's fun, it's interesting, it's everywhere you wanna be. Kiss Kiss, Bang Bang seems to be about Hollywood and the cannibal holocaust that exists out there as much as it is about the plot. It's great to see Shane Black come back; not only do I love Last Boy Scout, but muthafuckah was involved in The Monster Squad. Recognize! (Furthermore Last Action Hero is a guilty pleasure of mine. "He killed Mozart!" Although I never saw The Long Kiss Goodnight - was that any good? Anyone? Herro?) Seriously, if you want to go see a fun movie that is slickly produced and written tongue firmly in cheek while delivering some sick laughs, then this is how to spend your night. Also, from the guy who has made so many action movies, the violence and action in this film seems so deliberate and real. When Downey has to act, he doesn't seem filled up with the Mel Gibson/Bruce Willis bloodlust; they are regrettable but necessary actions that have to occur. Also, as found in this article at CHUD.com, I wholeheartedly agree that this will be the next Big Lebowski. Which isn't to say it'll achieve the endless quotations or even the Lebowski-fest, because no experience (filmic or otherwise) can ever occur twice. But still - the ingredients are there to make this a great cult film that everyone will love and drift back to. Check it out, y'all!
• Escape from New York vs. Escape from LA How come most of the people I speak to who have lived in LA describe it as the worst place on earth? I'm talking about an overwhelming majority of people hate that city they spend a lot of time in with a passion. Everyone tells me - "Everything you've ever heard about L.A. is true. It's superficial, it's shallow, it's dirty, it's Hell, etc." But most of the people of the people I speak with who have lived in NYC always recall their times in that city with such wonder, and say they had a blast while they lived here. It's odd, that the two cities that are often paired with each other (due to their liberal leanings, being centers for various Artistic endeavors, melting pot population, and their cultural significance) seem to provoke such disparate reactions. I blame the climate.
• Did Wolverine Just Blow My Mind? Check out this trailer for The Fountain, which is Darren Aronofsky's next movie. It should be due out sometime in 2006. Aronofsky will also be directing an episode of Lost this season. Look for the episode with a billion flash cuts while Hurley tries to crack the significance of the numbers and Sun & Kate perform anal rape on each other. ANYWAYS, this movie looks pretty cool. It makes me wonder what the hell is going on, and how this man's quest for immortality will be portrayed. Also, maybe it'll be the one Aronofsky movie that doesn't make me want to slit my wrists. Probably not. But maybe.
• Pissbags! Here's a quick lil video of Bush & Blair edited into swearing. My favorite part is the "reactions" the two have to each other. Especially the huffing and puffing Blair does at the end.
• You Like Music? If so, check out www.stereogum.com . It always has some cool free MP3s, some fun music news, and usually details on upcoming indie acts. Also, it's where I got my copy of that song featuring the crazy God Warrior from Trading Spouses. Check it out here.
• Once More Into the Breach, Dear Friends... South Park has been on a downward slip for a while. I mean, it's not as bad The Simpsons, but still...it hasn't been great for about a season or so (although there are still some AMAZING moments mixed in there). But last night, with their Scientology episode, they redeemed themselves if only for one episode. Just like every other cable channel, Comedy Central is all about the repeating rotation of episodes of their hit shows - so watch out for it. It was great to see South Park finally point out and mock Scientology. And in a weird way, I hope L-Ron's goons sue Trey & Matt - cuz nothing would be better than these two on trial. You thought Sacco-Venzetti was a laugh riot? Check out Parker & Stone in Out of Order, the comedy that can't be Dismissed. In Theatres Everywhere in Spring 2006. Although, I'm curious what this will do for their relationship with Scientologist Isaac Hayes (the voice of Chef). Either way, it's time we take these crazy soulless lecherers out. If only because they gave us Battlefield Earth. You're the ratbrain, man-animal!
• So I Can't Eat Your Peanut Butter, but I Can GangBang You? Check out this odd lil craigslisting involving a realworld castmate. Most people are assuming it's Trishelle, right? I mean, that's what the smart money has to be on. Not me, though - I think Julie the Mormon has finally flipped her lid.
• When A Stranger Calls - To Everyone in the World: If you call the wrong number, YOU'RE the asshole. Not the guy who picks up the right phone. You are. You're an asshole for getting numbers wrong. Since my position requires me to answer phones for a majority of the day, that means I encounter a fair number of wrong numbers. People get so pissed off. It seems like those are the two reactions: embarrassment or anger. Either they meekly fade away and abruptly hang up, or else they demand answers. As if it's an elaborate prank and I'm laughing my ass off cuz you're oblivious. Or that somehow, I'm SO incompetent, I'm just THAT retarded that I screw up answering the phone so badly, I don't even know what number it is. Well guess what? You're the fuckhead. Apologize and get the fuck off the line. I don't like people playing on my phone!
• AND ANOTHER THING! Since I've built up a meager head of steam: Fuck You, Fox! Fuck you in the ear, you piece of shit network! What sense does it make to cut Arrested Development back from 22 to 13 episodes? If you're going to cancel it, why not just let them finish out the whole season so they can go out on their own terms and in a blaze of glory? And if you're going to just bring it back, this short season shit isn't going to win any new fans since they won't even be able to see it. All you're doing is pissing off people who've been loyal fans, even while you cut down on episodes, move it around the schedule, and pre-empt it for all sorts of different bullshit reasons. Why piss on these people? We're on YOUR side, Fox; and this is how you do it? I hope HBO or NBC take this show and make the next season all about a petty Australian with no soul and a tiny penis and his global corporation that is ruining everything. You have the Fox News Network, you distributed the Star Wars prequels, you make Stacked, and now you've cancelled Arrested Development. That's one too many strikes, Fox. So it's official: you're off my christmas card list. (If you want to see a great rant to similar effect, check out David Cross's tirade on the Arrested Development Season 2 blooper reel).
• Welcome to the Nipple, Bitch! Ah, this will calm me down. I don't know how this got onto national TV, but if it's true - if i'm looking at it right (and I'd like to think that I am) - then that's definitely Mischa Barton popping out of her top.
• Don't Care How, I WANT IT NOW! There's a bunch of movies that desperately need to come to DVD. Here's a small sampling of some that I really want to see: Night of the Creeps, The Monster Squad, The Maxx: The Complete Series, Phantasm II (although I believe that is coming, and in a pretty nifty lil box set), Howard the Duck, and pretty much a whole bunch of other obscure sci-fi/horror movies. Glayven.

Not much else to report. Anyone got some good gossip for me? How about some horse tranquilizers? Mmm? Anyone?