"And now my favorite part of the show...can't read that...TALK TO THE AUDIENCE? Oh, that's Always Death."
Here's some questions fer yer noggins. You know the drill, I'll leave this up fer a few days, and y'all answer them. And then I'll provide my own answers. Enjoy!
1) Which would you rather live in: A Cloud City (like in Empire Strikes Back or The Jetsons) or an Underwater City (like Sealab)?
2) What were the Smurfs? From whence did they come? Mammals, reptiles, insects, none of the above?
3) As a child, did you ever feel any sympathy for Cereal Mascots that were denied their own Cereal (like the Trix Rabbit, Cookie Crisp Burglar, Lucky Charms Irish Midget, etc.)?
4) Would you rather be a henchman (or henchwoman) for a Bond villain or for COBRA? Why?
5) What's your drink of choice? Alcoholic? Non-alcoholic?
6) How do you like your zombies: Slow Walkin or Runnin Like Crazy?
7) Bacon or Sausage?
8) Which term is more offensive to you: Evildoers or Postmodern?
9) Do you think you could beat up a perfect clone of yourself?
10) Name 3 people Definitely Going to Heaven.
11) What song or album best represents how you feel right now?
12) Would you rather know Kung Fu or how to Hypnotize people?
13) Do you believe in life in outer space?
14) Would you rather fight one large giant man or three tenacious midgets?
15) You're a Transformer, essentially you are more than meets the eye. What do you transform into?
16) Do you believe in Destiny/Predetermination or Free Will?
17) What would be the name of your biography/biopic?
18) Do either Old People or Small Children annoy you? If so, which group annoys you more?
19) What was your favorite fairy tale as a kid?
20) Have you ever started a Wave at a professional sporting event?
21) Truth or Dare?
22) What song do you want playing at your funeral?
23) Out of this group of people, pick one who is deserving of a comeback: Steve Guttenberg, Tom Selleck, Mario Lopez, Debbie Gibson, Scott Baio, Woody Allen, Arsenio Hall, Harrison Ford, Harold Ramis, Meg Ryan, Cameo, Vendela, Bea Arthur, Elliot Gould, Jon Lovitz, Calista Flockhart, Matt Groening, Dan Aykroyd, Markie Post, Kevin Smith, Wes Craven, Britney Spears, Ally Sheedy, or The Littlest Groom.
24) Favorite Quentin Tarantino Film: True Romance, Reservoir Dogs, Pulp Fiction, His segment in Four Rooms, From Dusk Til Dawn, Jackie Brown, Kill Bill vol. 1, Kill Bill vol. 2 (yes I know they're one film, but I'm splitting it up so deal with it).
25) Astrology: Bullshit or Bulltrue?
26) Any last words?
Fire Away!
posted by The Neurotic Monkey @ 4:05 PM
9 Comments:
1. I'm una have to say the Jetsons cause i LOVE space boots!
2. Mammals Dean! That's a silly question. They are actually little blue monkeys destined to live with the shrooms for all eternity.
3. Actually yes I did, what a weird psych question to ask, is this a psych experiment? Cause the last psychology experiment I participated in they video taped me wanting to molest children, or not wanting to molest them, I forgot, but it really did happen, fucking Vassar! a bunch of weirdos, that's who they are!!
4. A Bond villain, someone flamboyant, like a guy with a fetish for roller-skates or sumpin and i'll skate around sorta like in the Warriors.
5. Diet Coke!
6. This question strikes a personal cord with me, I heart zombies, and I'll take 'em any way I can get them. Forced to chose: celebrity zombies, was that an option?
7. SAUSAGE!!!!!! fuck yeah!!!!!!!!! Which reminds me, I'm una try to be raunchier.
8. Postmodern. I am the only one who doesn't know what this term means, so I'm offended.
9. God that fight would be sexy and probably pretty good with our ninja acrobatics and all.
10. Crazy person number one, two and three. Now I don't want to hear any more of this God talk, to make up for it I want you to say the Lord's name in vain four times and fuck a prostitute.
11. Filthy Gorgeous.
12. Duh, I already know Kung Fu. She's alright.
13. Fo' sho' and I bet they're not a bunch of fuck-ups like us.
14. midgets, i just prolly try to have sex w/the giant.
15. a rascal, the on-the-go scooter for seniors!
16. I hate that movie, was Eligah Wood in it?
17. Blessed is the Fruit of thy Womb Jesus
18. pooped 'em
19. Those Uncle Remus tales, with the brier fox and brier bear, member dat, member?
20. Um, yeah, me? start the wave? oh yeah, sure, all the time.
21. Dare you nasty boy!
22. Fuck the Pain Away
23. Mario Lopez should cum on my back. Come on, you had to see that coming.
24. Kill Bill V1!! so crucial.
25. Bull-my-fav!!
26. I'm horny.
1) Which would you rather live in: A Cloud City (like in Empire Strikes Back or The Jetsons) or an Underwater City (like Sealab)?
You devil, starting out with a trick question. Since clouds merely water suspended in the air, what difference does it make? Cloud, water—it’s all the same! I think a much more appropriate question that proves to be quite complex would be “would you rather live up or down” because people would probably have a hard time weighing out the pros and cons to either side. Me? I prefer the view from the top.
2) What were the Smurfs? From whence did they come? Mammals, reptiles, insects, none of the above?
Smurfs. Need I say more? They came from G-d, just like the rest of us. Or Hanna-Barbera, your choice.
3) As a child, did you ever feel any sympathy for Cereal Mascots that were denied their own Cereal (like the Trix Rabbit, Cookie Crisp Burglar, Lucky Charms Irish Midget, etc.)?
No way, the game of keep-away made me feel like I was a cereal princess eating precious diamonds.
4) Would you rather be a henchman (or henchwoman) for a Bond villain or for COBRA? Why?
I feel like the word “henchman/woman” is synonymous with “ugly” so neither.
5) What's your drink of choice? Alcoholic? Non-alcoholic?
Sure, you can buy me a drink.
6) How do you like your zombies: Slow Walkin or Runnin Like Crazy?
I hate the pinched nerve zombie stroll! Let them come at me full speed—yeah they may be dead, but even zombies need to stay in shape with a good cardio workout, right?
7) Bacon or Sausage?
Ham please.
8) Which term is more offensive to you: Evildoers or Postmodern?
You are most certainly an evildoer for incorporating the word “postmodern” in this quiz of yours. Take it back!
9) Do you think you could beat up a perfect clone of yourself?
I think it would be an even match between two really hot, mud-clad vixens out for a killing. I’ve spent much of my life kicking my own ass, so this would be a good show.
10) Name 3 people Definitely Going to Heaven.
People! What about all dogs?!
11) What song or album best represents how you feel right now?
Kundalini Express by Love and Rockets
12) Would you rather know Kung Fu or how to Hypnotize people?
Kung Fu, to win the match against my clone.
13) Do you believe in life in outer space?
Yes.
14) Would you rather fight one large giant man or three tenacious midgets?
Depends on what you mean by “fight” and “large.” If fight=have sex with and large=well-endowed, I’m going with option A.
15) You're a Transformer, essentially you are more than meets the eye. What do you transform into?
A Gobot.
16) Do you believe in Destiny/Predetermination or Free Will?
My astrologer told me that I control my own fate.
17) What would be the name of your biography/biopic?
Uhhhhhhhhhhhh…you get a point here Dean.
18) Do either Old People or Small Children annoy you? If so, which group annoys you more?
They both smell bad and have trouble communicating with normal people—it’s a toss-up.
19) What was your favorite fairy tale as a kid?
Freaks
20) Have you ever started a Wave at a professional sporting event?
Heeeeeeell no. But I’ve participated. Only because I’m a conformist, though.
21) Truth or Dare?
Dare Biatch!
22) What song do you want playing at your funeral?
I don’t want any music to be playing. I don’t want people distracted by a catchy tune—they should be focusing on ME, the dead person. And since I’m dead and can’t hear music, no one else should either.
23) Out of this group of people, pick one who is deserving of a comeback: Steve Guttenberg, Tom Selleck, Mario Lopez, Debbie Gibson, Scott Baio, Woody Allen, Arsenio Hall, Harrison Ford, Harold Ramis, Meg Ryan, Cameo, Vendela, Bea Arthur, Elliot Gould, Jon Lovitz, Calista Flockhart, Matt Groening, Dan Aykroyd, Markie Post, Kevin Smith, Wes Craven, Britney Spears, Ally Sheedy, or The Littlest Groom.
You forgot Rosie Perez! I’m going with Cameo, Word up.
24) Favorite Quentin Tarantino Film: True Romance, Reservoir Dogs, Pulp Fiction, His segment in Four Rooms, From Dusk Til Dawn, Jackie Brown, Kill Bill vol. 1, Kill Bill vol. 2 (yes I know they're one film, but I'm splitting it up so deal with it).
God Jackie Brown was awful. I have to choose Reservoir Dogs cause that Steve Buschemi is somethin else!
25) Astrology: Bullshit or Bulltrue?
Bulltrue
26) Any last words?
Campbell needs to wash his balls! PU!
Hi Kitty.
1. I think the cloud like city. Being trapped in the underwater city would make me claustrophobic and also I feel there would be a leaking problem, thus a mold problem, and I don't dig mold.
2. Little tiny mammals. Like mice. Only with white pants and a chick with blonde hair. Could science recreate them? I think so. Damn government never spends on anything worthwhile.
3. Yes I did. I never got to eat their cereals either, but I always thought it sucked so much for them to have created it and then have craptastic Bobby & Cindy steal it from them. Though I always hated how the mascot would either trip or wait to long too eat the cereal, allowing Bob & Cind to steal it. I always figured by the third time you'd realize that Bob & Cind sucked ass and maybe not let them know you have a new marshmellow shape. And also, where are their parents? Shouldn't they not be wandering in woods but be at home? There are a lot of unanswered questions here.
4. I never watched GI Joe so I don't know the details of the COBRA organization. Though I think I might go for that only because the Bond villains always told him their plans in the end anyways, which is such a stupid move considering the time and effort you put into building the secret lair and capturing the devishly handsome Mr. Bond. Plus if I'm just their henchman, then that sucks, because I have to do the grunt work and when the shit hits the fan, I'm gonna be the first one to get my face kicked in by the wiley Mr. Bond. My boss can escape, but where does that leave me? I'm in the lair that's about to blow up. And that sucks.
5. Non Alcoholic: Green tea. Or a really good coffee drink from my favorite bakery. Alcoholic: Cold beer on a hot day or after a long day, nice glass of wine with an Italian dinner.
6. Slow walkin'. I like to keep tabs on those punks.
7. Bacon. The versatility alone is a winning factor, but the crispiness? The satisfying bacon taste? Sausage? Please.
8. Postmodern. Evildoers, while used by RetardoBush, just comes off like a comic book. Postmodern has that visual of some tool in black pants describing some bad piece of art.
9. Hmm... depends which one of us took the first cheap shot. And whether I would know I was going to do that...
10. Mother Teresa, my friend Kristen, Jimmy Carter.
11. I've been listening a lot lately to the Garden State soundtrack. During work it seems to factor in well.
12. Kung Fu. In a tight spot I don't have the time to hypnotize someone, but I do have the time to wind kick them in the face.
13. Yes.
14. Hmm... one large giant man. I'm going with the theory that he would tire out. Plus three midgets would be coming constantly, and what if they bite?
15. A plane.
16. A bit of both.
17. Up till now in my life? Maybe "Intellectual Stickart." Or, "That Doesn't Work For Me."
18. This is a good one. Small children I find gross, annoying, and filled with germs. Old people are stubborn, slow, and often on such a different plane you have trouble connecting. Which annoy me more? To be honest, I would say children. I just don't like them; they are always screaming or tearing around and they're such a festering pile of germs. No one is ever in control of them. But travelling with old people is a real test of one's patience. Then I think I would rather travel with children, only because when they won't do what you say you can pick them up. Picking up grandma when she won't listen and putting her in the car doesn't seem quite as publically acceptable.
19. Alice in Wonderland.
20. I dont' know; maybe when I was really young. I'm sure I loved it.
21. Dare.
22. Funkytown? No, just kidding. Maybe something by Nick Drake. I don't really want a funeral though.
23. I'm stuck between Harrison Ford and Kevin Smith. I appreciate both of their works and wish they could get back to how it was.
24. I haven't seen all of them; in fact I've only seen Pulp Fiction and Jackie Brown. So out of those two? Um... pulp fiction. I like Samuel L in that better.
25. I think the personality descriptions are often accurate, but other than that it's that great general crap, "something might happen that may affect you." I would rather read the one's by the Onion. They're probably more apt to happen.
26. I call the big one "Bitey."
1) Which would you rather live in: A Cloud City (like in Empire Strikes Back or The Jetsons) or an Underwater City (like Sealab)?
Cloud city…I’d rather live with the fear of falling off the edge to my death than the fear of being crushed to death by a change in cabin pressure.
2) What were the Smurfs? From whence did they come? Mammals, reptiles, insects, none of the above?
well…they’re hairless and blue and have no visible sex organs…which makes me think some sort of louse
3) As a child, did you ever feel any sympathy for Cereal Mascots that were denied their own Cereal (like the Trix Rabbit, Cookie Crisp Burglar, Lucky Charms Irish Midget, etc.)?
no, because they all seemed inherently evil
4) Would you rather be a henchman (or henchwoman) for a Bond villain or for COBRA? Why?
Henchwoman for a bond villain because 9 times out of 10 they sleep with James Bond and then switch from the dark side…I need job flexibility
5) What's your drink of choice? Alcoholic? Non-alcoholic?
gin and tonic; chocolate soy milk…never EVER to be combined unless you’re looking to make yourself wretch over a toilet for the next couple hours
6) How do you like your zombies: Slow Walkin or Runnin Like Crazy?
running like crazy…I don’t think that have that great a control over their limbs and their eyesight is poor from being underground for so long so most likely they’re going to eat shit before they get to me
7) Bacon or Sausage?
bacon…I just can’t handle the sexual connotations associated with the word sausage…and then eat it
8) Which term is more offensive to you: Evildoers or Postmodern?
postmodern...it’s the word pretentious boring people use at parties when they’re trying to get laid by the sloshed bimbo in the corner (really, do you even NEED to use big words to get her into bed? “you, me, screw” seems to work just fine)
9) Do you think you could beat up a perfect clone of yourself?
no…because I’m sure she would be super pissed that she was a clone and not the original so would have more motivation to take me out and then assume my identity…or has that already happened?
10) Name 3 people Definitely Going to Heaven.
Anybody who’s found a picture of jesus or mary on their grilled cheese sandwich or other unimportant item….seriously, it’s like god is pointing down from the sky and saying, “I chose YOU!”
11) What song or album best represents how you feel right now?
Chutes too Narrow
12) Would you rather know Kung Fu or how to Hypnotize people?
Kung Fu…i associate the word hypnotist with words like pedophilia and repeat sex offender
13) Do you believe in life in outer space?
yes
14) Would you rather fight one large giant man or three tenacious midgets?
the giant man…I’m terrified of people smaller than me who are most likely fast and bite hard enough to draw blood
15) You're a Transformer, essentially you are more than meets the eye. What do you transform into?
a mini cooper…so I don’t have to spend the money to buy one
16) Do you believe in Destiny/Predetermination or Free Will?
free will…even though there is neuroscience evidence to the contrary…which I intelligently chose to ignore
17) What would be the name of your biography/biopic?
The Littlest Viking
18) Do either Old People or Small Children annoy you? If so, which group annoys you more?
Old people because they are allowed to drive and function in public by themselves. That and I find old people scooters scary and unnatural. People that old should not be allowed to move that fast.
19) What was your favorite fairy tale as a kid?
Rumpelstilzchen
20) Have you ever started a Wave at a professional sporting event?
attempted while drunk…it doesn’t really work when everyone’s already standing up and taller than you
21) Truth or Dare?
truth…I have been known to back out of dares from a very young age
22) What song do you want playing at your funeral?
Anything eerie from the Phantom of the Opera…I want people wondering whether or not I’m going to jump out of my casket
23) Out of this group of people, pick one who is deserving of a comeback: Steve Guttenberg, Tom Selleck, Mario Lopez, Debbie Gibson, Scott Baio, Woody Allen, Arsenio Hall, Harrison Ford, Harold Ramis, Meg Ryan, Cameo, Vendela, Bea Arthur, Elliot Gould, Jon Lovitz, Calista Flockhart, Matt Groening, Dan Aykroyd, Markie Post, Kevin Smith, Wes Craven, Britney Spears, Ally Sheedy, or The Littlest Groom.
Meg Ryan if the swelling in her face and lips ever goes down
24) Favorite Quentin Tarantino Film: True Romance, Reservoir Dogs, Pulp Fiction, His segment in Four Rooms, From Dusk Til Dawn, Jackie Brown, Kill Bill vol. 1, Kill Bill vol. 2 (yes I know they're one film, but I'm splitting it up so deal with it).
Reservoir Dogs…short, sweet, and violent
25) Astrology: Bullshit or Bulltrue?
bull SHIT…don’t get me started, i get angry
26) Any last words?
I do not have a Muppet fetish
1) Which would you rather live in: A Cloud City (like in Empire Strikes Back or The Jetsons) or an Underwater City (like Sealab)?
I feel like all underwater communities come under attack or the like (loss of oxygen, pressure control malfunctioning)
Also from what I saw from the Jetsons (yeah I'd fuck an animated character) and Cloud City (you know if Mr. Colt 45 is there, the fine ladies are just a step behind.....and I will take me some Lando left-overs) it seems like the ladies prefer being on Top (double entadralious)
2) What were the Smurfs? From whence did they come? Mammals, reptiles, insects, none of the above?
I'll tell you were they came from...... my head on a bad acid trip... does anyone else think communal living is creepy? Honestly is smurf village that far off from the Waco compound?
3) As a child, did you ever feel any sympathy for Cereal Mascots that were denied their own Cereal (like the Trix Rabbit, Cookie Crisp Burglar, Lucky Charms Irish Midget, etc.)?
Absolutley...just like I wanted the Coyote to kill the Road Runner....fuck that arrogant prick...and aren't we supposed to teach our kids to share and be supportive...not mock and taunt (big ups to the Trix Rabbit...we made it baby!)
4) Would you rather be a henchman (or henchwoman) for a Bond villain or for COBRA? Why?
Henchwoman...for COBRA so I could seduce that fine ass Snake Eyes....
wait a second scratch....too much?
5) What's your drink of choice? Alcoholic? Non-alcoholic?
Beer, Water....mmmmm lack of nutrients
6) How do you like your zombies: Slow Walkin or Runnin Like Crazy?
Slow walking....I like the idea of zombies for kids...you know a little unpredictable to make them fun but stupid and slow enough to subdue....they could be used as very effective teaching tools for those want to learn how to deal with herion addicts
7) Bacon or Sausage?
Bacon up that sausage boy!!!
8) Which term is more offensive to you: Evildoers or Postmodern?
Postmodern....
would love to right something witty, but if I was witty I'd probably actually have a problem with the word instead of just feigning like I have any idea WHAT THE FUCK THAT MEANS
9) Do you think you could beat up a perfect clone of yourself?
Not a chance....unless my clone has been kept in a cage for the past year so that his muscles will atrophy, like yours truly
10) Name 3 people Definitely Going to Heaven.
Easy......
Snoop (isn't it obvious somebody upstairs loves this guy)
Crowe (big guy upstairs needs someone to play Satan in a period peice about his early years)
Doogie (God..like all of us hearts NPH)
11) What song or album best represents how you feel right now?
Sabbatical with Options by Prefuse 73 feat. Aesop Rock
12) Would you rather know Kung Fu or how to Hypnotize people?
Kung Fu....if I can beat the living shit out of them.......... I think I can make them bark like a dog
13) Do you believe in life in outer space?
Do you believe in hippsters in the East Village?
14) Would you rather fight one large giant man or three tenacious midgets?
Giant man....as I would never fight my brethren....bring it on...I'll chock your ass out and go hide in my room....
15) You're a Transformer, essentially you are more than meets the eye. What do you transform into?
Campbell.....you know so I can molest women at will......and for that smooth as silk skin
16) Do you believe in Destiny/Predetermination or Free Will?
Scary cuz option A means someone in charge is not a big fan.....and option B means its my fault....I need to get stoned
17) What would be the name of your biography/biopic?
Never Had a Chance...But Flopped Around Aimlessly Like a Dying Fish Anyway, the Ryan Brown story....can anyone tell I'm at work....Or......A Classic Example of Genes that should Have Been Killed Off Centuries Ago
18) Do either Old People or Small Children annoy you? If so, which group annoys you more?
Sometimes.....they both have there time to shine
19) What was your favorite fairy tale as a kid?
All people are good
20) Have you ever started a Wave at a professional sporting event?
Tried turned......turns out we were still in the parking lot
21) Truth or Dare?
Truth
22) What song do you want playing at your funeral?
23) Out of this group of people, pick one who is deserving of a comeback: Steve Guttenberg, Tom Selleck, Mario Lopez, Debbie Gibson, Scott Baio, Woody Allen, Arsenio Hall, Harrison Ford, Harold Ramis, Meg Ryan, Cameo, Vendela, Bea Arthur, Elliot Gould, Jon Lovitz, Calista Flockhart, Matt Groening, Dan Aykroyd, Markie Post, Kevin Smith, Wes Craven, Britney Spears, Ally Sheedy, or The Littlest Groom.
Let's make this clear if Tom Selleck's satche has anything to do with a question...its not even worth asking me
24) Favorite Quentin Tarantino Film: True Romance, Reservoir Dogs, Pulp Fiction, His segment in Four Rooms, From Dusk Til Dawn, Jackie Brown, Kill Bill vol. 1, Kill Bill vol. 2 (yes I know they're one film, but I'm splitting it up so deal with it).
Reservoir Dogs.....but the performances of Gary Oldman, Dennis Hopper, Christophor Walken and Brad Pitt in True Romance are the real winners
25) Astrology: Bullshit or Bulltrue?
BULLSHIT!!!....I was supposed to meet my dream guy and gain unexpected praise from peers last month
26) Any last words?
THIS.... I don't need
...and while we're on the subject, what the hell are Fraggles? You do too have a muppet fetish Anti-Blogger!! I've seen you do the dance!
1) Which would you rather live in: A Cloud City (like in Empire Strikes Back or The Jetsons) or an Underwater City (like Sealab)?
Cloud City all the way…I want a flying car that folds into a briefcase, too.
2) What were the Smurfs? From whence did they come? Mammals, reptiles, insects, none of the above?
Do you need a diagram? Blue skin, communal living, lack of external genitalia…they’re obviously aliens.
3) As a child, did you ever feel any sympathy for Cereal Mascots that were denied their own Cereal (like the Trix Rabbit, Cookie Crisp Burglar, Lucky Charms Irish Midget, etc.)?
I never thought that the name of the cereal or fact that the cereal pieces themselves weren’t the mascot made the cereal less theirs. “They’re after ME Lucky Charms...” See, it is his cereal.
4) Would you rather be a henchman (or henchwoman) for a Bond villain or for COBRA? Why?
I think, as suggested in a previous blog, that henchmen for COBRA are not actually henchmen but freedom fighters, rebelling against the man.
5) What's your drink of choice? Alcoholic? Non-alcoholic?
Miller Lite (none of that other swill); Gatorade Lemonade...why didn’t someone think of it sooner?
6) How do you like your zombies: Slow Walkin or Runnin Like Crazy?
Depends...brain eating zombies that are slow walkers are funny. They have to catch me, then subdue me, then chip through the skull to get through the sweet sweet brains. Yeah right. Zombies that just wish general harm need to get some idea of what the want out of non-life, regardless of how fast they move.
7) Bacon or Sausage?
Bacon wrapped in sausage casings. Mmmm...sausage casings.
8) Which term is more offensive to you: Evildoers or Postmodern?
Neither really makes sense. You do evil deeds and isn’t postmodern the future? Postmodern’s been getting a bad wrap though. I pick evildoers.
9) Do you think you could beat up a perfect clone of yourself?
My clone would probably be smart enough to take Tae Kwon Do and not smoke cigarettes. He’d probably wipe the floor with Matty H V1.0.
10) Name 3 people Definitely Going to Heaven.
Johnny Rico from Starship Troopers
Ty Pennington...he’s dreamy
and Sir Alexander Fleming, inventor of penicillin
11) What song or album best represents how you feel right now?
No Rain
12) Would you rather know Kung Fu or how to Hypnotize people?
If I knew Kung Fu, I might stand a chance against my clone. Or better yet, I could hypnotize him into kicking his own ass. Yeah, that’s way cooler.
13) Do you believe in life in outer space?
See Q2.
14) Would you rather fight one large giant man or three tenacious midgets?
I wouldn’t stand a chance against one giant man...I think I could time some good hard kicks on one of midgets to make it always seem like I’m only fighting two of them. Yeah, definitely the midgets.
15) You're a Transformer, essentially you are more than meets the eye. What do you transform into?
Ditka
16) Do you believe in Destiny/Predetermination or Free Will?
Free Will. Calvin was a nutball. Calling someone “the Elect” and hoping they do good deeds is not societal control.
17) What would be the name of your biography/biopic?
No one would write my biography. If they did, you probably couldn’t read the title behind the “SALE $0.49” sticker on the cover.
18) Do either Old People or Small Children annoy you? If so, which group annoys you more?
As a waiter, I can answer this definitively. Neither small children nor old people tip in restaurants. Except that small children aren’t expected to pay the ckeck, while old people fight to pay it to prove they’re not worthless. Old People by a landslide. (Plus they poop on the seat cushions.)
19) What was your favorite fairy tale as a kid?
BFG
20) Have you ever started a Wave at a professional sporting event?
I go to Yankees games. You can’t do the Wave at Yankee Stadium.
21) Truth or Dare?
Fire away...I have nothing to hide.
22) What song do you want playing at your funeral?
The Mormon Tabernacle Choir singing “Paradise City” with a 8-string guitar solo by Charlie Hunter. Not a dry eye in the house.
23) Out of this group of people, pick one who is deserving of a comeback: Steve Guttenberg, Tom Selleck, Mario Lopez, Debbie Gibson, Scott Baio, Woody Allen, Arsenio Hall, Harrison Ford, Harold Ramis, Meg Ryan, Cameo, Vendela, Bea Arthur, Elliot Gould, Jon Lovitz, Calista Flockhart, Matt Groening, Dan Aykroyd, Markie Post, Kevin Smith, Wes Craven, Britney Spears, Ally Sheedy, or The Littlest Groom.
Ramis...I still can’t get the taste from Analyze That out of my mouth.
Also, I think the Littlest Groom is going for a career, not a comeback.
24) Favorite Quentin Tarantino Film: True Romance, Reservoir Dogs, Pulp Fiction, His segment in Four Rooms, From Dusk Til Dawn, Jackie Brown, Kill Bill vol. 1, Kill Bill vol. 2 (yes I know they're one film, but I'm splitting it up so deal with it).
Tough Question. True Romance...great plot, great cast, great dialogue.
25) Astrology: Bullshit or Bulltrue?
Bullshit, but I check it every day.
1)Which would you rather live in: A Cloud City (like in Empire Strikes Back or The Jetsons) or an Underwater City (like Sealab)?
Wow, I would prefer a Cloud City to no end. There has to be some protection against people plummiting to their deaths right? Some safety net to catch your keys, change, and your self if necessary.
2) What were the Smurfs? From whence did they come? Mammals, reptiles, insects, none of the above?
I think the Smurfs were little mammals right? Like hamsters.
3) As a child, did you ever feel any sympathy for Cereal Mascots that were denied their own Cereal (like the Trix Rabbit, Cookie Crisp Burglar, Lucky Charms Irish Midget, etc.)?
Yes, my gosh, I always felt so badly for the Trix Rabbit. But like so many other delicious and entertaining aspects of normal childhood, I was denied access to any of the cereals mentioned above. Raisin bran and oatmeal all around!
4) Would you rather be a henchman (or henchwoman) for a Bond villain or for COBRA? Why?
I would definitely chose to be a Bond villain. (please note that I never paid attention to G.I.Joe save for the informative P.S.A. remixes, and that I have never seen a Bond film). Have we met? Its pretty obvious that A. I don’t do camo, and A-1: If it were socially acceptable, I would always be sporting a spangley ball gown.
5) What's your drink of choice? Alcoholic? Non-alcoholic?
Johnny Walker Black, rocks.
6) How do you like your zombies: Slow Walkin or Runnin Like Crazy?
I don’t take kindly to zombies, but I thought they all walked slowlike, with arms outstretched.
7) Bacon or Sausage?
no breakfast meats thankyouverymuchly
8) Which term is more offensive to you: Evildoers or Postmodern?
neither. I do take offense to the word “neat” (used as synonym to cool), it just sounds patronizing.
9) Do you think you could beat up a perfect clone of yourself?
We’d probably be too busy doing Coors Light commercials.
10) Name 3 people Definitely Going to Heaven.
Wayne Coyne
Julie from Real World New Orleans
Our Lord and Savior, George W. Bush
11) What song or album best represents how you feel right now?
”Better Son or Daughter” – Rilo Kiley
12) Would you rather know Kung Fu or how to Hypnotize people?
DEFINITELY hypnotism! It would make that problem of always having to have things my way so much easier!
13) Do you believe in life in outer space?
The though of aliens has always scared me so much that I refuse to think about it. Really. Now change the subject already.
14) Would you rather fight one large giant man or three tenacious midgets?
midgets probably, whatever…next question
15) You're a Transformer, essentially you are more than meets the eye. What do you transform into?
a laser pointer
16) Do you believe in Destiny/Predetermination or Free Will?
Free Will – each day is what you make of it, your life is a blank canvas, etc etc
17) What would be the name of your biography/biopic?
No one was perfect until she came around: The Erin Brady Story
18) Do either Old People or Small Children annoy you? If so, which group annoys you more?
My parents annoy me more than any other group of people
19) What was your favorite fairy tale as a kid?
Anything that involved pegasi or unicorns.
20) Have you ever started a Wave at a professional sporting event?
I love the wave – and the beachball! Yes! Paying attention to those two things (or the beer/hot dog vendor) is what is going to get me knocked out one day.
21) Truth or Dare?
I always pick truth – I’m a pussy like that.
22) What song do you want playing at your funeral?
”Dry the rain” beta band
23) Out of this group of people, pick one who is deserving of a comeback: Steve Guttenberg, Tom Selleck, Mario Lopez, Debbie Gibson, Scott Baio, Woody Allen, Arsenio Hall, Harrison Ford, Harold Ramis, Meg Ryan, Cameo, Vendela, Bea Arthur, Elliot Gould, Jon Lovitz, Calista Flockhart, Matt Groening, Dan Aykroyd, Markie Post, Kevin Smith, Wes Craven, Britney Spears, Ally Sheedy, or The Littlest Groom.
How about the run away bride?
24) Favorite Quentin Tarantino Film: True Romance, Reservoir Dogs, Pulp Fiction, His segment in Four Rooms, From Dusk Til Dawn, Jackie Brown, Kill Bill vol. 1, Kill Bill vol. 2 (yes I know they're one film, but I'm splitting it up so deal with it).
kill bill 2
25) Astrology: Bullshit or Bulltrue?
Bullshit
Even people who are really into it say the horoscopes aren’t true – you can only go by “your chart” which is all about the specific day/year you are born and the planets in your sky or whatever.
26) Any last words?
They’ll never catch me man, cuz I’m fuckin innocent!
1) Which would you rather live in: A Cloud City (like in Empire Strikes Back or The Jetsons) or an Underwater City (like Sealab)?
If Billie Dee Williams was present with mustache, hands down, cloud city!
2) What were the Smurfs? From whence did they come? Mammals, reptiles, insects, none of the above?
We will all be smurfs one day…..if we’re lucky
3) As a child, did you ever feel any sympathy for Cereal Mascots that were denied their own Cereal (like the Trix Rabbit, Cookie Crisp Burglar, Lucky Charms Irish Midget, etc.)?
Since I was only allowed cheerios and corn flakes I identified with above all the Trix Rabbit, but instead of sympathizing even though I was in the same situation, I laughed, because I’m a dick
4) Would you rather be a henchman (or henchwoman) for a Bond villain or for COBRA? Why?
Bond henchman got their own personalities, cobra henchman were all the same. Make me a compilation bond henchman with odd job’s hat, jaws’ teeth, etc…..and then we’d be talking
5) What's your drink of choice? Alcoholic? Non-alcoholic?
Bring on the Yoo Hoo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
6) How do you like your zombies: Slow Walkin or Runnin Like Crazy?
Slow walkin’ yet somehow impossible to get away from…..
7) Bacon or Sausage?
I just don’t dig on swine that’s all
8) Which term is more offensive to you: Evildoers or Postmodern?
Who in this world doesn’t secretly or openly enjoy being called an evildoer?
9) Do you think you could beat up a perfect clone of yourself?
No, we’d probably just compliment each other
10) Name 3 people Definitely Going to Heaven.
Since heaven is probably reaching these days, I’ll go ahead with film characters that could possibly make the cut;
Atticus Finch, Mr. Smith, Travis Bickle
11) What song or album best represents how you feel right now?
Once I was – Tim Buckley
Hon mention; Lazyboy – Underwear Goes Inside the Pants
12) Would you rather know Kung Fu or how to Hypnotize people?
I would like to be able to hypnotize people with my kung fu…aahhh
13) Do you believe in life in outer space?
It’s the only thing that gets me through the day, wait a minute, that’s what masturbating does, wait, what was the question…
14) Would you rather fight one large giant man or three tenacious midgets?
Midgets can get those furious little fists into places a giant can’t.
15) You're a Transformer, essentially you are more than meets the eye. What do you transform into?
Fudgsicle
16) Do you believe in Destiny/Predetermination or Free Will?
I sure do, pick one out for me
17) What would be the name of your biography/biopic?
He was not a smart man, or a slutty woman, but damn it if he didn’t try to be both.
18) Do either Old People or Small Children annoy you? If so, which group annoys you more?
I don’t consider either of these to be forms of life worth considering, except the baby in the Quizno’s commercials, cause that thing doesn’t make me want to kill every baby I see.
19) What was your favorite fairy tale as a kid?
Do Porns count as fairytales? No? Then I’ll have to go with Hansel & Gretel because who doesn’t want to find a candy house, even if you might be killed for going inside.
20) Have you ever started a Wave at a professional sporting event?
The Wave might be the worst thing mankind has ever invented, and I am being completely and utterly serious!
21) Truth or Dare?
The Truth hurts, but Dare gives me diarrhea!
22) What song do you want playing at your funeral?
Love – You Set the Scene
23) Out of this group of people, pick one who is deserving of a comeback: Steve Guttenberg, Tom Selleck, Mario Lopez, Debbie Gibson, Scott Baio, Woody Allen, Arsenio Hall, Harrison Ford, Harold Ramis, Meg Ryan, Cameo, Vendela, Bea Arthur, Elliot Gould, Jon Lovitz, Calista Flockhart, Matt Groening, Dan Aykroyd, Markie Post, Kevin Smith, Wes Craven, Britney Spears, Ally Sheedy, or The Littlest Groom.
Scott Baio never left my heart or fantasies, but if Harrison Ford could make another movie that didn’t suck sweaty balls that would be ok.
24) Favorite Quentin Tarantino Film: True Romance, Reservoir Dogs, Pulp Fiction, His segment in Four Rooms, From Dusk Til Dawn, Jackie Brown, Kill Bill vol. 1, Kill Bill vol. 2 (yes I know they're one film, but I'm splitting it up so deal with it).
Pulp Fiction
25) Astrology: Bullshit or Bulltrue?
Bulltrue, but only because I enjoy the word so much
26) Any last words?
Do You smell that?
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