What I Would Have Said at the Enraged Person from Ricoh's Accounts Receivable Department Had He Not Abruptly Hung Up on Me After Our Screaming Match
...Oh, that's just 'how much I owe', huh? Well, sir, I don't see how you can arbitrarily--no, sir, I don't.
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What? Well, as I've already stated to you - TEN TIMES, ALREADY, SIR - we just sent the checks to another department in Ricoh. And yet somehow-And yet somehow-AND YET SOMEHOW, SIR, these checks got cashed. How is this possible, and yet there's no credit in Ricoh's system?
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No, I don't expect you to "run these checks down." But...
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Yes, but--
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No. No. No. No, I don't think that's fair nor is that accurate. SIR, AGAIN I REMIND YOU TO KEEP A CIVIL TONE WITH ME! Now then, I am MORE than willing to work with you to iron out these problems, but if you continue in this manner--
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SIR!
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Sir, I--
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OKAY! That's enough! I have sat here and listened to your barrage of idiocy while you scream and yell at me like a petulant child. Now you WILL shut up, and if you HAVE to speak, you WILL keep a civil tone. Is that understood? Is that Understood, sir?
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Is. That. Understood.
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All right. Now, I don't know what your problem is and, quite frankly, I don't care. All i know is that if you EVER talk to me like that again--
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No, if YOU ever--
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No, if YOU ever--
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No. You--
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Shut the fuck up! Now then, I am sorry that your company is equal parts retarded and incompetent. That must be a drag.
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I SAID SHUT YOUR MOUTH! I am sorry your company is a ship of fools, but we have cut checks to your company and they have been cashed BY your company. Now, I'm not surprised that you can't this money or these checks - I'm pretty sure you couldn't find your dick with two hands and a flashlight. But be that as it may, your company had no problem taking our money. If it was allocated to the wrong department, then that is unfortunate. Because it means extra work for you, sir.
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This conversation is over, sir.
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Yes it is.
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Yes, yes it is.
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Listen! You will resolve this issue on your own, you will track down the missing funds that we have already allocated to your company and have already been deposited by your company. You WILL NOT call here again, and if you choose to do so, you will speak quietly and politely or else I will come down to your craphole office in Jersey and beat you within an inch of your pathetic and worthless life, you walking pile of dysentery! Take care of your business, and do NOT call back here. Lest I am forced to respond in either violence, or simply by speaking with your supervisor about your appalling lack of tact and civility.
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Good day, sir!
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I BELIEVE I SAID, "GOOD DAY"!
(Alas, all I could do was scream "Oh Fuck this" to the dial tone, and then get him in trouble with his company. It wasn't nearly as satisfying. Anyone else have any tales of rage they would like to revise and share?)
posted by The Neurotic Monkey @ 5:40 PM
3 Comments:
Most of the people I talk to at work are either judges, or very powerful lawyers, so eh...not so much on the yelling and the namecalling and the swearing and whatehaveyou.
Pretty weak Lost the other night. Am I the only one who's really tired of Charlie? I never thought a drug-addled fallen rock star would be so damn boring, but now I've seen everything. It was an especially big letdown after last week's episode ended with Jack asking Ana Lucia "How much time would it take to train an army?"
By the way, speaking of TV, if you don't watch The Shield, you really owe it to yourself. Seriously.
You're not alone Mike our blogging monkey buddy also can't stand Charlie; my only real problem with the episode is now I feel like I need to get baptized....W.T.F. like no one could have told me
Charlie should've died when Ethan strung him up. He's done nothin but pissed me off since his whole lack of breathing thing.
Although, Charlie and Hurley are the only ones that point out how ludicrous everything is around them and how no one else seems to bring this up.
But since we know that Baptism will save people from the threat, and that the Others went after Eko, we can surmise one other fact: The Others ARE....Jews.
Or Gypsies. The point is, they are a dirty, godless people who probably eat babies and listen to Oasis. Evil creatures beyond the mercy of God.
In all seriousness, last night's episode wasn't horrible. A bit heavy handed with the christianity stuff. I'm waiting for a Polar Bear to come back and lead the Lostaways in a fight against the White Witch and her army of monsters.
Nothing can beat the Michael & Sawyer on a raft episode, though. That sucked out loud. No wonder the shark didn't eat them...that thing was rank.
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