And the Hits...just Keep On Comin'
X-Men: The Last Stand is coming in May. More details are coming out about this lil gem. And with those details, come some great pictures. And with great pictures, comes great responsibility. Like my responsibility to scream THIS LOOKS LIKE THE WORST FUCKING MOVIE EVER MADE EVER!!!! I know people think fanboys like me just want to whine and bitch and complain about something. And they're right. But in this case, I really wanted this movie to be great. X-Men was pretty lame, horribly written (FACTOID: I recently found out that The Infamous "Toad Gets Hit by Lightning" line was written by Joss Whedon. But so was the "You're A Dick" quip), with subpar action and muddling character development. It shit on a lot of comic book law, and wasn't even a good movie on its own (The Magneto vs. Nazis scene was cool, and I did enjoy the introduction to Wolverine).
X2, on the other hand, was fun and fast and engaging, and pretty great for a comic book movie (I would say it's probably the second best comic book movie. The first being The Crow. Glayven). It wasn't completely faithful to the comic books, but worked so well on its own, that any sins were forgiven.
And now this is happening. Why? Why? Haven't us nerds endured enough? The Star Wars prequels? Watching endless number of comic book properties be turned into shitty shitty halfassed movies? Doom? The gentrification of Sam Raimi? Resident Evil? The fingerbanging of Aliens vs. Predator? The tidal wave of shitty J-horror rip offs? And now this. Just look below...for some craptastic images from what could end up being the spark that ignites the Nerd Riots of the 21st century.
Maybe the X-Men movies will be like Star Trek movies, where even numbered ones are really good, and odd numbered ones are perplexing and feel half-realized.
Maybe.
Things get hot and heavy in the backrooms of Best Buy.
"Is that...is that Ram Man?"
"Do you even know where we parked? God dammit, I hate you so much."
"My mutant power is to look frumpy."
"What happens in the Danger Room, stays in the Danger Room. Now, suck it."
"BALLS!"
"Yes, I've seen that commercial where the man works in an office with a bunch of chimps. But I just don't see what that has to do with---Ohhhh. You're a dick."
"I refuse to miss the opening ceremonies of the Winter Olympics. I'm a big time Luge enthusiast. BIG TIME."
"Two Dollars!" OR The Strong Arm of the Girls Scouts
"Do I have Something on My Face?"
Let's turn lemons into lemonade. Caption Contest! Submit your own!
posted by The Neurotic Monkey @ 10:06 AM
1 Comments:
"I guess redheads put out."
"Have you seen my puppy?"
"NO! Don't push me! I can do it. Get away. I SAID I CAN DO IT!!!"
Haley Joel Osmond is finally blossoming into a woman.
"My special power? I'll show you. It's called the 'Power Eye.'"
"...and then Collosus put his hand on the back of my head, like this. ... and then he pushed my face down into his... I'm sorry, can we turn the cameras off?"
"No, no one else is to blame for my appearance. I'm afraid I just blue myself."
"Black caviar? Oh no no no. I'm afraid that just won't do. I bid you good day, sir. And I pray your next social function will maintain some semblance of class!"
"When you're a Jet, You're a Jet all the way. From your first cigarette To your last dyin'... Damnit John! Left foot first! NO! YOUR LEFT FOOT! Ugh. God, send me dancers!"
"It's a skin condition."
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